Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
