Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
