Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
