I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
birth control should be required to get into college
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
