Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
