i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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