It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Vodka?
Forever.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i think my cat just said my name.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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