We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
