Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
