JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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