you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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