Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
