so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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