if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
