OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
