ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
