people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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