the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
And then he peed in my hair
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