just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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