soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
