paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
