For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
