I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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