Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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