We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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