this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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