Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize