Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize