she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
