Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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