We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
