What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
