If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
