k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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