if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize