I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got inside last night via doggy door
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
