My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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