O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize