there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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