i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
