So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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