Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
