Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
