Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize