You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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