Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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