Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
