At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
