ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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