go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
one might say we're banned from that church
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
