I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Randomize