At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
