marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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