My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
