was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
