Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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