what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
