I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
