There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
