And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
